Rounding the corner toward normal

At the beginning  of the year, I made some lofty, aspirational goals for the year, namely to spend much more time nurturing my marriage and me.  I am so happy to report that I have been way more successful at pursuing that goal this year than I have been the last couple of years.  By way of a progress report, I am excited to report:

1.  Ryan and I have been on 10 official date nights so far, and it isn't even June yet!  Yay for us.  There have been a few other informal, short coffee dates in there too, where Ryan has met me at work to treat me to a cup.  What a special way to start the work day.
2.  Painted my nails/toenails more in the last four months than I have the last two years.
3.  Finished reading three books, for fun.
4.  Organized/hosted at least a half dozen playdates with other moms with small children.
5.  Started taking piano lessons.  And made (a little) time to practice each week.
6.  Spent a night away from home with a girlfriend.  What a luxurious treat.
7.  Organized/hosted dinner in/out with couple friends.
8.  Continue to work on Henry's baby book.
9.  Ran in my first organized run.
10.  Enjoyed several lunches/walks with girlfriends.

As many of you know, I struggled with postpartum depression for nearly two years after Henry was born.  It took me a really long time to be comfortable calling it that (at least publicly) because there is a lot of stigma, perceptions, judgments that come along with the "postpartum" phrase, so I was reluctant to call it that.  But, that is what I was battling.  I was on a vicious, toxic cycle of feeling okay and feeling really screwed up (hopeless, desperate, jealous, resentful, angry, guilty, etc.).  I would have periods (usually a couple months) when I would think I was getting back to "normal" and then I would find myself right back in the dumps for a couple of months.  During that time, I never felt content or comfortable in my skin, I always felt a bit off, even in my "normal" periods.  And yes, I did seek professional help (but refused to engage in any chemical treatments). I really wanted to get off this nasty roller coaster, so I've been working really hard to find "normal" again, by nurturing my marriage and me, which seems to be working.  In March, I had what I will call a "triggering event" when I found out a working mom acquaintance quit her job to stay at home with her son.  This type of news would be just the type of news to "trigger" a downward spiral in my mood that would last 6-8 weeks in the past.  BUT...BUT...this time around, sure I was sad for 4-5 days, but it was only a matter of days, rather than weeks, until I felt "normal" again.  All in all, I feel SOOOOOOO much more content, even happy, this year. I feel like I am finally rounding the corner toward normal.

Another sign that I am finding myself again is that the gardening bug has bit me in a HUGE way this Spring.  Since we moved to our current house four years ago, I had sort of lost my gardening passion, which was compounded by my struggles with postpartum (everything, even hobbies, felt like a chore during that time).  But my passion for gardening returned with a vengeance this year, and I am sooooooo excited for this year's garden.  I view my garden as one giant experiment every year, which feeds my interest in science that I have had since a young child.  For this year's experiment, I planted the following edibles (which may just be the beginning...I find myself inspired to dig up more lawn and plant more edibles...we'll see):

2 tomatoes
2 banana peppers
1 jalapeno pepper
1 cayenne pepper
2 yukon gold potatoes
4 sugar snap peas
2 edamame
2 crooked neck yellow squash
2 zucchini
1 eggplant
6 corn
4 blueberry bushes (adds to the 3 bushes already in the front yard)
1 apple tree
1 pear tree
12 strawberry (adds to the approximately 36 plants already in the front in the front yard)

BIG thanks to Grandma O for not only passing on the gardening gene to me, but helping me prep my garden beds and containers.

I hope 2013 continues to be a GREAT year.  Cheers!!!

Many Thanks

I have many things to be grateful for these days.  Here are some highlights:
* Trip to the zoo with Henry and Grandma O.
* Grandpa Keith watching Henry, so Ryan could go camping for a couple of nights. 
* Korean food, made just for me by my Mama. 
* Sunny springtime walk with my dear friend Britney.
* Easter brunch and egg hunt with the family at Grandma Sherry and Grandpa Keith's house. 
* Planted my garden.  Much appreciation to Grandma O for all her help and guidance.
* Barbeque.  I love grilled food.
* New treadmill console.  Up and running again. 
* Dinner with Mary and Nick.
* Date night with hubbie.
* Seller accepted our offer on our future rental property.  Yippee.
* Going out to lunch with Grandma O.
* Coffee date with hubbie.
* Playing with the Ko kids. 
* Lots of playtime outside with Henry. 
* Dinner on the back patio.
* Evening walks with the family.
* Shiny new bumper.
* Crocheting...began making a new baby blanket (two of my girlfriends are pregnant).
* Weekend at the beach with Henry and Sophie.
* Gardening while watching Henry dig in the dirt.
* Sharing ice cream with Henry from Big Al's ice cream shop.
* Watching Henry ride his bike.
* Fish and chips.
* Grandpa Keith helping Ryan move our new furniture to the beach house (so excited to sleep on the new bed!)
* Playing football with Henry, which often turns more into a game of soccer, but with a football.
* Reading books with Henry.
* Progress on our refinance (slow, but progress nonetheless).
* A few nights of 8 hours of sleep.  Ahhh, blissful sleep.
* Pay raise...a small one...but I'll take whatever I can get.
* Flowers from my Hubbie and Little Man. 
* Stealing a few cuddles from Ryan, even though he hates it. : )

Springtime Fun

Silly goose.  Henry has become a climber. He's asserting his independence more and more everyday, wanting to do things for himself.  This includes walking up and DOWN the stairs.  Completely freaks me out, but he will at least hold on to the rail now.  If he is feeling sweet, he will hold my hand for extra stability. But usually, I just have to hold my breath, walk next to him and prepare to brace his fall in the event he slips.

Window clings.  Henry loves, loves, loves stickers, so we tried out some new car Easter window clings.  The awesome thing about window clings is that you can peel them off and use them again, dozens of times.  Henry tested out the theory thoroughly.

This guy is a smoothie lover!

Henry can now effectively navigate slides by himself and prefers to do so.  On the really tall ones I usually still go to the top and get him to lay down, otherwise I fear he will go flying off the edge because he still doesn't have good body control. It is really fun to watch him navigate playground equipment these days, it brings him so much joy.

Awe, my sweet boy.

If I would let him, Henry would live outside.  He loves to explore, play ball, dig in the dirt, RUN, and ride his bike.  He is all smiles, all the time, while outside.

Mama's little helper.  He likes to help sort laundry, feed Sophie, let Sophie in and out (it is so cute to hear him call her to come inside..."Sobie, Sobie, dog dog...Sopbie, So...."), help Mama in the kitchen (especially making chocolate pudding) and run errands.  If Henry starts to get a little grumpy and stir crazy, take him on an outing, and it will turn his mood right around.  I like having company while I run errands, so I am thrilled he likes to go with me.

Henry loves to mimic behavior.  Mowing the pavement is a favorite pastime. 

He is learning his colors.  He now knows green, purple, red, orange, yellow and white.

He is also working on opposites: Cold/Warm/Hot, Dark/Light, and my favorite Big/Baby (rather than Big/Small). 

He is still working on his letters.  He knows about two-thirds of his ABCs, primarily in uppercase. 

Henry has finally started speaking phrases.  Here are some recent phrases that brought a smile to my face:

Henry: "euuuu euuuuu ahhhh ahhhhh, eat dat nana"
Me: "That's right, monkeys do eat bananas."
Henry: "beel dat one, mama"

"Mama, read dat one!" "Mama, move dere." Henry likes to bring me books and ask me to read them to him. But he also likes to dictate where I sit to read the book, often on the middle cushion of the couch, not on one side or the other, but the middle cushion only.

Grandpa Keith: "Henry, come give me a hug!"
Henry: "Nooooo way!"

Me: "Henry, would you like some carrots?"
Henry: "No, Mama eat dat."

Henry: "Fassss, gar go, now!"  
Me: You want Mama to drive the car fast?
Henry" "Yeah!"

Henry has also learned some more colorful phrases (I won't mention the culprits who taught them to him), such as "Mama poophole" and "Mama bugger."  He thinks both are hilarious.  I indulge the humor for now since he isn't saying these things to be mean.  I am sure we will need to reign it in a bit when he starts pre-school next year.