Happy Halloween

 Cutest mummy ever!

I am still working on getting both boys to look at the camera and smile at the same time, but this is pretty close.  I'll take it. : )

 Is that Leonardo, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, or Henry!?!

OH, it's Henry!  As usual, Henry got to pick his costume.  He chose Leonardo because he's the Ninja Turtle with the blue eye bandanna and blue is Henry's favorite color.  He also has nunchucks that Henry loves...but Mama conveniently forgot them at the store.  We had soooooooo much fun trick or treating this year.  Henry's excitement was infectious.  He even said "trick-or-treat," "thank you," and "Happy Halloween" to almost every neighbor.  So precious.  He made his Mama proud. 

Four Months - Lots of Smiles

Yup, I can't get enough of that smile!  Love, love, love it! Russ is four months today.  Man, oh man, how time flies!  We visited Dr. E this morning and he stated "He looks great!  I don't have any concerns.  He's developing right on track."  Music to a mama's ears.  Here are his current measurements:

Height: 26 1/8 inches - approx. 80th percentile
Weight: 14lbs 7oz - approx. 30th percentile
Head: 16 7/8 inches- approx. 55th percentile

As far as other developments, he is getting sturdier by the day.  His head flops around less and less each day.  He's a drool monger.  He's like a faucet these days!  He can roll from tummy to back and back to tummy, but hasn't mastered the 360 degree rollover yet (but I'm in no hurry for him to start rolling off the bed).  He's also a big flirt, smiling at all the ladies.  He loves for the attention in the room to be centered on him and if it isn't, he creates such a ruckus with what I call his pterodactyl screech that the attention soon moves right to him.  He's an inconsistent napper and sleeper, but he technically sleeps "through the night" according to the experts, because he generally sleeps at least five hours straight.  Those experts are nuts if they think five hours is a "good night sleep!"  Russ loves his big brother Henry and Henry loves him back.  I had no idea how much fun it would be to watch the two of them bond.  I'm amazed at how easily my heart expanded to love another child as much as I love my Little Mister Russ.  And I love Henry even more now (which I didn't think was possible) for loving his little brother.  Family - it completes me.

Returning to work

With a very heavy heart, I returned to work four weeks ago. I didn't cry this time though, so that was a HUGE improvement from the last time around.  I cranked up the radio on my way into the office so that it was blaring teeny-booper pop music.  It is hard to be sad when the music that is vibrating your entire body and car is preaching bumpin', grindin', grovin', shakin', lovin'.   In many ways, it has been an easier journey returning to work. Thank goodness!!!  I think the biggest difference is that I knew what to expect, at least in large part.  Here are some observations about returning to work, the second time around:

Pumping, pumping, pumping. I feel like a human farm animal (this isn't new, I felt this way with Henry too). To ensure I have enough milk for Russ when I am away at work, I have been pumping 4-5 times a day and nursing 5+ times a day as well. It's a huge time suck and logistically challenging! Having said that, I feel honored and blessed that I am able to feed him. I am in awe every time I look at his chubby cheeks and relish in the fact that "I made that!" I feel proud. Motherhood has made me feel proud in so many ways.

Sleep. Ha! What is sleep!?! I don't get much of that these days. It's all just a season, but it makes for growing impatience and wild emotions sometimes.  Russ is inconsistent in his sleep patterns, or should I say lack thereof.  He's a cat napper.  He won't consistently take long naps.  But, then some days, he'll take a 3 hour nap (not often though).  The only consistent thing is when he goes to bed (7-7:15).  But how long he makes it after that is a crap-shoot.  Sometimes I am lucky (rarely) and he will sleep until nearly 4 the next morning.  Other nights he wakes up at 11:45, 12:30, or 1:50.  The last week or so, he's been waking up between 1-2 in the morning.  This wouldn't be so bad if I went to bed at 7 in the evening as well.  But, I don't.  I still have Henry to usher off to bed and then it is dishes, laundry, bills, email (personal and professional), showering, pumping, and whatever else life demands.  So, it means I usually don't get to bed until 10:30-11, so it is rare that I get more than three hours of uninterrupted sleep because once Russ wakes up that first time, he wakes every 1-2 hours after that. Needless to say, I am sleep deprived.

Weekend cooking. Planning out and cooking (or at least prepping) weeknight dinners on the weekend has been a lifesaver.  I remember that weeknight dinnertime used to be really stressful, especially right after I went back to work after Henry was born, so I decided to try doing more of the prep on the weekends this time around.  It has made dinner time during the work week so much less stressful. So far I've made things like Southwestern-style pot roast (that we used to make delicious tacos), potato soup, butternut squash mac and cheese, lentil and sausage soup, and lots of banana chocolate chip muffins. 

Showering at night.  I have always preferred a morning shower.  But, with nursing full time and trying to get everyone out the door at a reasonable hour in the morning, showering is just one more thing that ends up causing stress in the morning, so I moved my shower to the evening after the boys go to bed.  It is a nice way to end the day, but I do miss my morning shower. 

Date nights. I have told many new parents that the biggest mistake I made the first time around was ignoring my marriage, for an entire year (after Henry was born).  I vowed after Henry turned one that I would consciously make more of an effort to nurture my marriage.  Folks, marriage is hard work.  Worth it.  But, hard work.  It doesn't stop at "I do," but rather just begins.  So, I've continued to make an effort to schedule opportunities for Ryan and I to enjoy a few minutes of grown-up time together, without the kiddos.  It isn't as often as we would like, but at least once a month.  That is my promise to myself, is that we will go out as a couple at least once a month.  I think it pays off.  I think I am kinder, more understanding, more patient and just plain more content when we take a few minutes to acknowledge each other, as husband and wife.  We are FAR from perfect, but at least we are trying.  So far, we've been able to continue our dates since Russ was born.  Thank goodness for Grandmas!!!

Self-care.  I (like many women) don't take care of myself as well as I should.  "Me" is often an after-thought.  Putting "me" on the back burner is only sustainable for so long though and then life starts to crumble around itself.  Having found myself sitting on a therapist's couch on more than one occasion has taught me this lesson the hard way, yet I keep forgetting.  So, I have been trying to take better care of myself this time around.  I started exercising a few weeks ago.  Nothing too crazy, but a slow jog on the treadmill 2-3 days a week or a walk through the neighborhood.  I've been reading for pleasure.  I've been watching a few of my favorite shows each week.  I canned pickles and jam this summer.  I worked on refinishing my picnic table this summer.  I blog.  I take long showers. I treat myself to my favorite coffee.  I make time to visit with girlfriends from time to time.  And, I am thinking about starting to meditate. 

Support Network.  I have the utmost gratitude for my mother.  "Thank you" feels inadequate to describe how thankful I am for EVERYTHING she does for me. She constantly does things to make my life easier and less stressful.  She is selfless with her time.  I am soooooooo very, very, very blessed to have her in my life.  And the most endearing thing is that she loves my boys in such a sweet way.  I love her!  If that weren't enough, I have an amazing mother-in-law who regularly lends a helping hand and brings "grandma-magic" to our house.  She has a unique ability to create impressionable memories with the little ones.  I hope I can learn a few of those skilla from her over the years because it really is magical.  And I can't end this paragraph without acknowledging my dear husband who continues to show up, every day, to be an active parent and involved dad (even when it's tough...really tough).  Thank you, honey, for always showing up, no matter what.  I love you for it (even if I don't always show it).

Pumpkin Patch

About 10 days ago I took a random Thursday off of work (something I like to call a "Mommy day"...akin to a "mental health day") and we went to the pumpkin patch as a family.  Henry opted to go back to Lakeview Farms in North Plains (which we visited last year) because the visit includes not only a train ride, but a boat ride too.  The only disappointment for Henry this year was he didn't quite understand why the mechanical water dragon and shark in the pond weren't "real." 

Waiting for everyone to board the train.  Henry of course was the first in line, so he got the first pick of seats.

 One very happy camper.

 Looking for the perfect pumpkin.

 Little Mister seemed content to simply suck on his fingers.  He could have cared less about the train, hay, pumpkins, boats, or goats.  Snuggles were perfectly adequate. Mama had no complaints obliging.

 Henry was old enough this year to navigate the hay maze by himself.  Silly dude would literally run into the dead-ends though before he would turn around and try a new direction.

 The hay maze was even more fun when he convinced Daddy to join him!

 Henry made friends at the top of the hay pyramid. 

Is that Henry....or is it BATMAN!?!  Henry has a new found interest in superheros.  Batman is his favorite. His boots sport Spiderman, which comes in a close second favorite.