Someone Turned Three!

Yup, Henry turned three years old this past Valentine's Day.  Where oh where does time go!?!  We visited Dr. E earlier this week and he confirmed that Henry is indeed a BIG BOY.  He measured in at 39lbs 8oz (97th percentile) and 40.5 inches (97th percentile).  Blood pressure and BMI were both normal/healthy.  Dr. E said he is developing right on track and appears quite healthy.  He did refer us to a physical therapist though because Henry has developed a bit of a habit of walking on his toes.  He doesn't do it all the time, but fairly regularly.  At this point, there are no signs of anything serious.  To be cautious though, we are going to get him checked out by a pediatric physical therapist, to hopefully squash this habit sooner rather than later so it doesn't lead to bigger issues down the road.  Apparently, most habitual toe walkers out-grow the habit by 5, but in an abundance of caution, we'll go see the experts.  If nothing else, it will be another excuse to encourage Henry to follow directions (which he could use some additional practice at, as most three year olds could use).  Not only is Henry physically big, he has an equally bigger than life personality these days.  His imagination blows me away.  We are submersed in the world of pretend, which I love.  It is so much fun to watch him develop and share in his daily joy and humor. Cheers to the last three years.  I'm so looking forward to the next three and beyond!

XX or XY

Let me set the record straight, I suck at gender prediction.  I thought Henry was a girl before I found out he was a boy.  I also was convinced the Jellybean was a girl, until I was proven wrong yesterday, AGAIN.  Indeed, we are expecting another baby boy to join our family!  I can not tell you how excited I am!!!  I am over the moon, obsessive, crazy excited.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE LITTLE BOYS!  Our house may be destroyed by the end of this adventure, but I am certain every scratch, dent, hole, stain, damaged fixture and torn up yard will be worth it, a thousand times over.  Bring on the mayhem!!!

On Being a Minority

No, I'm not talking about being a racial minority (which I'm one of those too)...

The US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that that in 2012 there were 9,134,000 women with children under the age of three.  6,334,000 of those women work and 2,595,000 of those women work 35 or more hours a week.  These are my peeps, other full time working moms.  What do these numbers tell me?  They tell me that only 1/3 women with itty bitty kiddos work and that only 2/5 women with itty bitty kiddos who do work, work full time.  What this also means is that I am squarely a minority.  Being a minority doesn’t bother me per se and it  isn’t necessarily a negative, but what it does mean is that social policy and culture in the US often does not cater to my needs (or desires, dreams or hopes for that matter).

Being a minority in this context feels lonely sometimes.  Trying to navigate a world that feels like it is designed for non-working moms (people really) is frustrating.  Juggling full time work with itty bitty people is HARD, and unless you do it yourself, you have NO CLUE just how HARD.  2/3 of moms get the luxury of more time with their babies that I do.  2/3 of moms don’t have to squish their life into a box built for non-working moms.  I am reminded of this reality every time I try to sign Henry up for preschool, music, swimming, visit a museum, go to the library, etc.  Most preschools are designed around a 9-11:30 timeframe, swim class is offered at 10am on Tuesday, music is offered at 1:15 on Wednesdays, mommy matinees are offered during the classic work day, story times at the library are the during the traditional work day, DMV, DEQ and SSA close at 5, doctor and dentist offices operate M-F, banks are only open 9-5 etc.  Sure, there are a few evening and weekend options, which I try (and must for lack of other options) to take advantage of, and there are few preschools that have caught onto the fact some moms have to work BEFORE 9am, but the slots are limited, the facilities are limited, the opportunities are limited.  I have to get in line with the other 2,595,000 full time working moms struggling with the same limitations.  It is frustrating to always be subjected to waitlists, long lines, early enrollment deadlines, asking for favors, all because I work full time.  No one really talks about these challenges when you are in graduate school, embarking on a profession.  No one prepares women for the sacrifices they will have to make if they choose the daunting task of being a mom and a full time professional.  I desperately hope that by the time my children begin to start and grow their families that our country will embrace social policy and cultural change in a family-centric direction.  Countries, such as Sweden, that have gone through what I will call “mini revolutions” in this respect find people are happier, production increases, and divorce rates decrease.  These seem like things ALL people can support (regardless of marital or child status), not just working moms.  

People ask me if I am excited about inviting the Jellybean into our lives.  Surely I am excited, but more than excited, I am terrified and overwhelmed.  I made the conscious choice to become a parent and I embrace it with all of my heart, but I am also extremely anxious about what life has in store for me when the Jellybean joins our family.  My responsibilities will increase and the logistical challenges I face in life will double (at least).  Having said that, I am one that shows up, always have been, and I will indeed show up for this challenge too.  But...I am scared.