The US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that that in 2012
there were 9,134,000 women with children under the age of three. 6,334,000 of those women work and 2,595,000 of
those women work 35 or more hours a week.
These are my peeps, other full time working moms. What do these numbers tell me? They tell me that only 1/3 women with itty
bitty kiddos work and that only 2/5 women with itty bitty kiddos who do work,
work full time. What this also means is
that I am squarely a minority. Being a
minority doesn’t bother me per se and it isn’t necessarily a negative, but what it does
mean is that social policy and culture in the US often does not cater to my
needs (or desires, dreams or hopes for that matter).
Being a minority in this context feels lonely sometimes. Trying to navigate a world that feels like it
is designed for non-working moms (people really) is frustrating. Juggling full time work with itty bitty
people is HARD, and unless you do it yourself, you have NO CLUE just how
HARD. 2/3 of moms get the luxury of more
time with their babies that I do. 2/3 of
moms don’t have to squish their life into a box built for non-working
moms. I am reminded of this reality
every time I try to sign Henry up for preschool, music, swimming, visit a
museum, go to the library, etc. Most preschools
are designed around a 9-11:30 timeframe, swim class is offered at 10am on
Tuesday, music is offered at 1:15 on Wednesdays, mommy matinees are offered
during the classic work day, story times at the library are the during the traditional
work day, DMV, DEQ and SSA close at 5, doctor and dentist offices operate M-F,
banks are only open 9-5 etc. Sure, there
are a few evening and weekend options, which I try (and must for lack of other
options) to take advantage of, and there are few preschools that have caught
onto the fact some moms have to work BEFORE 9am, but the slots are limited, the
facilities are limited, the opportunities are limited. I have to get in line with the other
2,595,000 full time working moms struggling with the same limitations. It is frustrating to always be subjected to
waitlists, long lines, early enrollment deadlines, asking for favors, all
because I work full time. No one really
talks about these challenges when you are in graduate school, embarking on a
profession. No one prepares women for
the sacrifices they will have to make if they choose the daunting task of being
a mom and a full time professional. I
desperately hope that by the time my children begin to start and grow their
families that our country will embrace social policy and cultural change in a
family-centric direction. Countries,
such as Sweden, that have gone through what I will call “mini revolutions” in
this respect find people are happier, production increases, and divorce rates
decrease. These seem like things ALL
people can support (regardless of marital or child status), not just working
moms.
People ask me if I am excited about inviting the Jellybean
into our lives. Surely I am excited, but
more than excited, I am terrified and overwhelmed. I made the conscious choice to become a
parent and I embrace it with all of my heart, but I am also extremely anxious
about what life has in store for me when the Jellybean joins our family. My responsibilities will increase and the logistical
challenges I face in life will double (at least). Having said that, I am one that shows up, always
have been, and I will indeed show up for this challenge too. But...I am scared.
i'm glad we're in this boat together.
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