Rounding the corner toward normal

At the beginning  of the year, I made some lofty, aspirational goals for the year, namely to spend much more time nurturing my marriage and me.  I am so happy to report that I have been way more successful at pursuing that goal this year than I have been the last couple of years.  By way of a progress report, I am excited to report:

1.  Ryan and I have been on 10 official date nights so far, and it isn't even June yet!  Yay for us.  There have been a few other informal, short coffee dates in there too, where Ryan has met me at work to treat me to a cup.  What a special way to start the work day.
2.  Painted my nails/toenails more in the last four months than I have the last two years.
3.  Finished reading three books, for fun.
4.  Organized/hosted at least a half dozen playdates with other moms with small children.
5.  Started taking piano lessons.  And made (a little) time to practice each week.
6.  Spent a night away from home with a girlfriend.  What a luxurious treat.
7.  Organized/hosted dinner in/out with couple friends.
8.  Continue to work on Henry's baby book.
9.  Ran in my first organized run.
10.  Enjoyed several lunches/walks with girlfriends.

As many of you know, I struggled with postpartum depression for nearly two years after Henry was born.  It took me a really long time to be comfortable calling it that (at least publicly) because there is a lot of stigma, perceptions, judgments that come along with the "postpartum" phrase, so I was reluctant to call it that.  But, that is what I was battling.  I was on a vicious, toxic cycle of feeling okay and feeling really screwed up (hopeless, desperate, jealous, resentful, angry, guilty, etc.).  I would have periods (usually a couple months) when I would think I was getting back to "normal" and then I would find myself right back in the dumps for a couple of months.  During that time, I never felt content or comfortable in my skin, I always felt a bit off, even in my "normal" periods.  And yes, I did seek professional help (but refused to engage in any chemical treatments). I really wanted to get off this nasty roller coaster, so I've been working really hard to find "normal" again, by nurturing my marriage and me, which seems to be working.  In March, I had what I will call a "triggering event" when I found out a working mom acquaintance quit her job to stay at home with her son.  This type of news would be just the type of news to "trigger" a downward spiral in my mood that would last 6-8 weeks in the past.  BUT...BUT...this time around, sure I was sad for 4-5 days, but it was only a matter of days, rather than weeks, until I felt "normal" again.  All in all, I feel SOOOOOOO much more content, even happy, this year. I feel like I am finally rounding the corner toward normal.

Another sign that I am finding myself again is that the gardening bug has bit me in a HUGE way this Spring.  Since we moved to our current house four years ago, I had sort of lost my gardening passion, which was compounded by my struggles with postpartum (everything, even hobbies, felt like a chore during that time).  But my passion for gardening returned with a vengeance this year, and I am sooooooo excited for this year's garden.  I view my garden as one giant experiment every year, which feeds my interest in science that I have had since a young child.  For this year's experiment, I planted the following edibles (which may just be the beginning...I find myself inspired to dig up more lawn and plant more edibles...we'll see):

2 tomatoes
2 banana peppers
1 jalapeno pepper
1 cayenne pepper
2 yukon gold potatoes
4 sugar snap peas
2 edamame
2 crooked neck yellow squash
2 zucchini
1 eggplant
6 corn
4 blueberry bushes (adds to the 3 bushes already in the front yard)
1 apple tree
1 pear tree
12 strawberry (adds to the approximately 36 plants already in the front in the front yard)

BIG thanks to Grandma O for not only passing on the gardening gene to me, but helping me prep my garden beds and containers.

I hope 2013 continues to be a GREAT year.  Cheers!!!